About five minutes after I snapped this snuggly pic, we got into a fight.
You know the ones who just this week started premarriage counseling for a couple who have asked my husband to perform their wedding ceremony.
And, this fight will likely not be the last.
Oh, our disagreements come less often, but even after all these years together, we still have them.
I expect, being the two flesh-filled sinners that we are, that we will keep hurting each other’s feelings, being selfish and insensitive until the day we die.
But, this I also know. Both of us promised God we’d stick it out.
Yes, our vows were to each other but they were first and foremost to Him.
We are committed.
Commitment. It’s something that we rarely discuss anymore.
But we need to be committed to commitment and encouraging it in each other and in our children.
Commitment to God.
Commitment to our marriages. Commitment to our children.
We all suffer when we lose sight of this.
When marriages fail, children suffer and society suffers.
I’m not trying to be political; but it’s worth noting how very many school shooters, gang members, drug addicts and those occupying our prisons come from broken homes. The statistics are staggering.
I’m also not saying marriage isn’t hard! Good grief, I’m still annoyed with my husband as I type these words and he with me.
Oh, I love him… but the real help is that I love God more and so does he.
Our commitment to stay committed is because of our love and commitment to Christ.
And along the way, God has helped us keep this commitment. He will equip us for what He has called us to do.
And, even when I’m annoyed, and especially when I’m annoyed, I remember this commitment and some of the lessons He has taught us over the years —
Things like —Love God first. Let God be your rock, your security, your satisfaction and don’t put impossible constraints on your husband to satisfy you in ways only God can do. You’ll push him away if you do.
Make loving your husband a priority over taking care of kids, your job, or cleaning your house – don’t give him your leftovers. If you do, that is what you can expect in return.
Get connected quickly to a community of believers where you will realize quickly nobody has a perfect marriage, but it sure helps to have people pray for you and point you to truth.
Understand your husband will want sex (probably more often than you do) but even more than sex- he wants your RESPECT. Be careful how you talk to him (especially in front of others) and how you talk about him.
Understand he will want sex (yes I just said that again) and when you don’t want to – pray for some “want to” – God will answer that prayer! And you can protect your marriage by protecting this part of it.
Don’t always have an answer if you want your husband to lead you. Encourage his leadership and enjoy the freedom that truly comes from “not being the boss”. Submission is not a dirty word.
A happy marriage is not 50/50. A happy marriage comes when each person gives 100% and does so even when the other one isn’t or can’t.
Don’t have separate bank accounts. You are one and so should your money be.
Laugh. Someone once said, “Humor can help a marriage last forever. A marriage without humor only seems to last forever.”
and pray… and pray some more!
And make up. With kissing. It embarrasses your kids and keeps you laughing. ❤️
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