Psalms 73:26 says, “My heart and my strength may fail but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever”.
My strength and heart will fail,
And I know this to be true. These aren’t just words. I am not just hoping or wishing.
Still, if I’m honest, a situation of late has pushed me to my emotional limits. I can’t share about it, or write the devotional that ties it all up in a great lesson. It’s been really hard.
Then, there’s the fact that my last kid is moving to his own house. I’m proud of him. But I’m sad. (like bursting into tears, sad).
And, on top of that, I’ve recently learned there is a problem with my heart. And I’m not being spiritually metaphorical here…I mean the heart that is beating in my chest as I type these words, has a problem.
Life lately has been a roller coaster. I know it is also hard for many of you who follow this page). Like you, I am remembering, once again, I cannot control how hard, how fast, or how scary things may get.
But, on this truly, scary ride, I also remember I’ve been buckled in safely by my Father.
His loving arms hold me close. I feel His nearness and His calm assurance.
There will be no twists or turns that take Him by surprise, and He will be with me every single moment.
And through it all, it’s as if He’s giving me yet a closer glimpse of eternity; and He is helping me let go (a wee bit more) of my thinking that I can control this life.
And you know what else? Things that seemed so important just a few short weeks ago, have fallen into their rightful and better place again.
As I hear doctors say words, I thought were reserved for people much older than me, I’m ever more aware that this life is but a breath.
But, I still want every breath to count! I don’t want to “rest on my laurels”.
I want to love God and love people! As my mentor, and dear friend Karen, who is now with Jesus, used to say, “I want to praise Jesus all the way to the gates” whether that comes tomorrow or fifty years from now! (And she did!)
I want to count the blessings and soak them up.
Oh, I still feel the wish to stop time, lock the doors, and hold on to my blessings with all I have. But I know, maybe more than ever, that is impossible, and I better slow down enough to soak them up when I see them. (By the way, Are you slowing down enough to see them?)
And you know, the funny thing is, the blessings I’ve been seeing and counting are fewer and fewer “things”, but are the people God has so sweetly put in my life.
They are my prayer-warriors, my encouragers, my huggers.
They are the ones who ask me how I’m doing and who can tell instantly just by the tone of my voice.
They are ones that are okay, even when I’m not okay.
And on those “not okay” and “the blessings-are-hard-to-see”, “other” kind of days, the harder days that I know are still to come, I will deliberately remember God’s goodness, I’ll thank Him for the blessings, but most of all, I’ll thank Him for His abiding presence.
For you know what else? My Father is still enough to sustain me, when all else seems to fail me.
And what’s more, He is enough for you too! And I know somebody, besides just me, needs to remember that today!
Life can be hard. But God is good. He has us. He won’t leave us. And that’s sweetly, somehow enough!