“I’m not even mad at God about all this.”

Daddy has dementia. It’s the cruelest and strangest of diseases. He seems to float between moments of complete clarity, and absolute confusion and even delusion.

We have had a rough few days as his sweetheart, my precious mom, the best caregiver ever, fell ill and had to go to the hospital. She’s better now but watching her pull away in that ambulance seemed to wreck Daddy for a bit.

But while I sat with him Friday, with family coming in and out because Daddy can’t take care of himself, much less his sweetheart of 53 years, he looked at me and said, “you know, I’m not even mad at God about all this.”

I wasn’t sure what “all this” was to him in that moment, so i just listened as he explained that if everything hadn’t happened as it had, he wouldn’t have his family around him so much.

In that moment of clarity, my Daddy was reminding me to see the blessing in the hard days and not allow anger from adverse circumstances to be directed toward God.

Yes, we live in a fallen world where death, disease, and division are reeking havoc in many ways for many of us right now.

But God is still faithful. Do you see Him in this day?

He is always good. Have you thanked Him for the blessings you do have?

For as we continue to trust the Lord and look for and count His blessings-even in the hardest of days- we can experience a peace and joy that those who decide their situation is unfair and get upset with God just never will.

Yes, this is hard. Stinking hard some days. But like my Daddy, I can still see blessings; and I will praise the Lord for He is so very good to me.

And yesterday, as the sun shone so brightly, I talked my 90 year-old Daddy into going on a ride in the side by side with me. His smile…that’s a blessing I’ll count! ❤️

counttheblessings

kimjaggers.com

4 thoughts on ““I’m not even mad at God about all this.”

  1. I lost my mom to dementia in 2010. It was hard. I look back and have often said…if not for that awful disease, I would have missed some wonderful moments with her. God bless you and know that it’s not an easy thing to get through…but, it’s not all bad.

    Like

  2. I’m glad you and the family can be there for your dad. My mom has this but lives in Oklahoma. I have guilt for not being there for her, especially since she was always there for me. I’m thankful that since my stepfather passed last year, my younger brother is there for her and that he loves her so well. I’m glad your dad was able to express his feelings to you like he did. It must’ve been such a comfort to you. And Dad being Dad. Easing the pain of his little girl in whatever way he is able.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: