I am convinced more than ever that marriages, particularly those in the church, are under attack.

And so, I felt led to share a few things I’ve learned as a wife over the years. I’m sure many of you could add more and are welcome to do so in the comments below.

Here are mine—

Love God first. Let God be your rock, your security, your satisfaction and don’t put impossible constraints on your husband to satisfy you in ways only God can do. You’ll push him away if you do.

Make loving your husband a priority over every other human being in your life. Don’t give him your leftovers after taking care of your kids, scrolling on your phone, seeing your friends, your job, or cleaning your house – etc. If you do, that is what you can expect in return—leftovers.

Get connected quickly to a community of believers where you will realize (quickly) nobody has a perfect marriage, but it sure helps to have people pray for you and point you to truth.

Understand that your husband will want sex (probably more often than you do) but even more than sex- he wants your respect. Be careful how you talk to him (especially in front of others) and how you talk about him. Apologize quickly when you mess up. And you will.

Understand he will want sex (yes I just said that again) and when you don’t want to – pray for some “want to” – God will answer that prayer! And you can protect your marriage by protecting this part of it.

Don’t always have an answer if you want your husband to lead you. Encourage his leadership and enjoy the freedom that truly comes from “not being the boss”. Submission is not a dirty word.

A happy marriage is not 50/50. A happy marriage comes when each person gives 100% and does so even when the other one isn’t or can’t.

Don’t have separate bank accounts. You are one and so should your money be.

Laugh. Someone once said, “Humor can help a marriage last forever. A marriage without humor only seems to last forever.” 😳

and PRAY… and pray together! This has been the most important and incredibly helpful thing for our marriage. It is powerful.

marriage

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