I almost sent that text.
But I deleted it instead.
The words I had rehearsed in my mind, didn’t roll off my tongue.
I kept my mouth shut.
God knows what I had in mind. He knows the old me who could compose a quick, insulting comeback and be proud of the wounding I would inflict.
But God, and a few close, patient, long-suffering, pray-for-me friends, know just how far (how VERY far) my flesh-filled, quick-tempered, self has come.
Sometimes, after I don’t do what I had thought about doing, when I don’t say what I once would have said, I just can’t help smiling up at my Father.
I know I probably look like a weirdo smiling up at Heaven sometimes….😃
But I can’t help smiling!
God has graciously helped this slooooow learner come to understand that it really is better when I don’t do some of the things I’ve thought about doing.
Funny thing is, when I allow God to fight my battles, and do things His way instead of mine, things don’t get nearly as messed up, or blown out of proportion.
Storms are actually calmed, I’m settled and at peace, and relationships aren’t ruined that might have been.
I’ve got a long way to go, but as that song says, “ I’m thankful I’m not who I used to be”…because of Jesus.
And for that…I’m thankful and smiling!
And friend- find some praying friends who know you well enough to celebrate with you when you don’t do what they know you used to would’ve done! And if you have a friend like that, perhaps share this post with her and thank her!
And know this – There are also times we are called to do and be things we do not feel- to stay in the hard marriage, to pursue the rebellious teen, to work hard for those who do not appreciate us, to love the unlovely… (and you name it because you may be walking it).
God is, and always will be, the source of our strength to do the right things we do not feel and not do the wrong things we do feel.
He’s is so good!