Husbands love your wives and do not be bitter towards them. (Col 3:19)

And the Greek word Paul used for LOVE here is a really big deal—

“Agapao does not denote affection or romantic attachment; it rather denotes caring love, a deliberate attitude of mind that concerns itself with the well-being of the one loved.” (Vaughan)

“It can be defined as a sacrificial, giving, absorbing, love. The word has little to do with emotion; it has much to do with self-denial for the sake of another.

· It is a love that loves without changing.

· It is a self-giving love that gives without demanding or expecting re-payment.

· It is love so great that it can be given to the unlovable or unappealing.

· It is love that loves even when it is rejected. “ (Enduring Word)

Without a doubt, this is a terrifically high standard that God has called men to! In Ephesians 5:25, Paul calls on husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for it.

That is a tall task that our men are charged with. Honestly, it’s seems even harder than submission.

But when I hear how husbands are supposed to love and give themselves up for their wives, I am immediately tempted to evaluate how well my husband is doing with this.

Anybody else pull out the “HISstory book”? Surely, you know what I mean.

Do you begin to “measure” your husband on the “love you and deny himself for you” scale?

And what’s more, we may be tempted as wives to only offer affection and submission to our husbands if they get all this REALLY right.

But sister, you know that’s not right, that’s not a Christ-like response.

And yes, I’m talking again about submission because I know the majority of those who follow this page are women.

Let’s do what God calls US to do. Yes, let’s pray for our husbands to be the men God called them to be, but let’s concentrate more on our actions instead of theirs.

Yes, I know many men have a long way to go. Yes, I hope churches will teach and lead on this more. Yes, I hope and pray God will raise up more godly men.

But, as Christ-followers, ALL of us are called to obey Christ regardless of what others around us are doing.

If we all sit around waiting on others to do the right thing, before we do the right thing, we sure aren’t going to see good things happen!

And, as I mentioned a couple of days ago in this study, because God knows our tendency to get historical as wives,I believe our Father intentionally had Paul instruct wives to submit first in this passage before he talks about husbands being loving (see Jan 27 post).

Our submission is key and not dependent on how well we perceive ourselves being loved by our husbands.

BUT, as we do what the Bible says as wives, as is fitting in the Lord, the whole climate of our home can be impacted.

And you know what else, those children that we love so much are also blessed when we trust and obey the Lord more than we trust our very selves.

(And that’s my Ben and his beautiful Katie in the picture. If you’ve read my book, you might praise the Lord with me ❤️)

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